If college is supposed to be about maximizing your opportunities, how shameful is it to apply this philosophy to your dating life?
I’m all for hooking up with different people during the duration of your college career. Hook up buddies are fun! Take advantage of the fact that you can choose from pretty much any type of person you’ve ever been curious about. But is it shady when these people start to overlap?
Consider this: you’ve been dating someone. Not like you’re boyfriend and girlfriend, but the vague college term for “dating,” which nowadays can account for any combination of going out and hooking up, as long as it happens with some consistency. (And no, this does not include people you never go out in public with. Do yourself a favor and accept that you are not “dating” your fuck buddy.) While you guys haven’t committed yourselves to anything serious, a real relationship is not totally out of the forecast. Assuming that you haven’t explicitly agreed not to hook up with other people yet, how messed up is it if you go to a party, meet someone really hot, and happen to find your tongue slip and land in their mouth?
I know it’s happened to most of us before (making me less of a harlot). But if you’ve done it before, can you then get mad if the person you’re dating does the same thing to you? The answer is obviously…no. But what’s reasonable doesn’t always translate to the decisions we make. Just this week I told the guy I’ve been dating that I was uncomfortable with the idea of him hooking up with other people, when just two days prior to that I’d hooked up with someone else. My rationale? If a guy is being kind of sketch with our status and can’t even agree to be exclusive with me, why should I go out of my way to be faithful to him? I’m not going to go so far as to have sex with anyone else, and it’s not like I pursue these hook ups, but if they happen, so be it, right? The mantra “you should’ve put a ring on it” comes to mind.
But let’s be real, my “love life” is a mess. If you’re seriously trying to figure this shit out like I am, check out this blog.